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The Transformation

Sep 19, 2011 • 0 comments • 637 views
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She had once believed in everything and nothing. Her whole being culminated into one huge bed of lies and deceit, she fooled no one. Her face, beautifully slim, with an aquiline nose and soft features, betrayed the very things she thought she had carefully hidden. She smiled a practiced smile, one that did not quite reach her eyes, and laughed, a hollow preemptive laugh that did not quite ring true. She had an ethereal quality about her, one that could move mountains if only she'd let it shine through. Deep within the tough shallow exterior she had fabricated of herself lay a beautifully fragile woman afraid of being broken by the world. 

She took stances everyday. Sometimes new ones, but mostly old, recycled ones, mainly to convince herself of the validity or injustice of it all, for nobody else was fooled. She was easy to read, but like a well-written novel, difficult for the layman to complete. In an age where everybody wanted to 'get to the good parts' it was hard for her to be understood and appreciated, especially as she took extra means to see that through. She was her own worst enemy.

Her huge brown eyes, beautifully radiant when untroubled, sang a thousand songs of loneliness, struggle and strife. With one look, she would make hearts ache for her and some even involuntarily reach out to her. True to her nature, however, she would shun them, shutting the world out of what she thought were her private never-ending inner wars. She needed no one, she thought; not a single person. 

She was the loneliest lost little girl ever to live in a woman's body. She had a dream of becoming a graceful, elegant, feminine young lady; the true self that she knew existed, as did many around her, but she was afraid. She was deathly afraid of letting out her fragility in a sharp piercing world. She thought that it was the world that was forcing her true character into hiding, when, in reality, it was her who was holding the lovely woman hostage. Her inner turmoil, surfacing as a temperamental child of four, tarnished the gentle soul through bullying, false ideals, unmet expectations, and worst of all, guilt. This little child held within her hands the ultimate power that brought the soft-spoken soul to her knees; the guilt of 24 years past. She had the elegant creature chained to the ground through incessant black reminders of a time long ago, where the child was the center of attention, and one day, became that no more. The frightened child then took firm hold of the young lady to be and locked her away in a fortress high above the mortal world. She suspended her future self in a turret so high that sometimes the fledging even forgot she existed. It was a cruel most masochistic attempt to prolong it's own life, yet, a harshly effective one to maintain it's longevity. 

Clawing desperately at a life the young lady wanted the child defiled everything it came in contact with. It soiled all sacred spots and ravaged all hallowed desires. Through its own confusion and total anger, the child robbed the young lady of a life, leading her to mistakenly believe that she, indeed, did want the very things that she knew were not her ultimate desires. The confused duo stumbled through life in this fashion, with the blind little enraged child leading the way, and the imprisoned gentle soul believing she was powerless to stop it.

One day, however, through a spark of genius, the child was cajoled into a life-altering world; an alternate universe where the roles were reversed and both their lives were forever changed.

The young lady embarked on a journey; a long winding road that took the best of her strength at times and elicited peals of laughter at others, leading to her transformation into the gloriously vibrant woman she is today. She had led the child into a private inaccessible sanctuary, hidden in the deepest recesses of their united soul. The earthen sanctuary of greenest grass illuminated by the strong rays of the sun and well-fed by it's own river of life was the one place where the two factions could sit and enjoy each other's company without the bonds and chains of the upper hand. In this sanctuary, under a gloriously vivid golden apple tree, the two sides, captor and captive, sat knee to knee to better understand one another. The Garden of Eden was where the two halves of one soul reached a final consensus. The little one was made to understand that in holding her true self captive, she was only hindering her own growth, thus rendering herself bitter, resentful and constantly unfulfilled. The gentle being was also made to see that children, even more than adults, crave attention, praise and acknowledgement. The two halves then made a pact; they were each to honor the other's wishes, and learn to love one another for all their flaws and shortcomings. They had, after all, a common goal; Happiness.

In acknowledging their mutual desires, the little child and the gentle feminine adult learned to love one another unconditionally. The two took walks in the sanctuary, played under the shade of the magical golden apple tree, swam in their river of life, and sang with the birds in their little garden. They had finally, learned to enjoy each other's company and the massive sky-high turret was torn down for all to see.

The lovely lady emerged, hand in hand with her now playful child, ready to prove to the world that she was, in fact, not dead, but rather alive and eager to begin her life outside of her confines. She was ready to show the world that the child, no matter how sullen and temperamental, was also a thing of beauty; an utter joy to behold and an absolute delight to have around. The two halves had finally become a whole.

The world, upon seeing this magical transformation realised that the little girl who had once terrorised and reigned supreme was but a frightened creature and the gentle soul held within her an underlying strength that surpassed her young years. The two halves had, indeed, created a formidable whole; a wonder for all to see.

The whole now knew how to laugh wholeheartedly, smile fully and enjoy the little blessings of a joint life, where no one feels left out, bound or confined. The true aspects of both their selves were emerging, rendering this woman a beauty unmatched. Her once closed face became an open canvas of reds, pinks, peaches and cream. Her laugh, once so forced, became the song of larks; the babbling of brooks and a tune played by angels on harps. Her once clouded eyes became deep puddles reflecting her dormant strength with their chocolaty warmth. The little girl peeked through those saucer eyes, cheekily ducking behind her pupils and dancing around her irises.

The young gentle, feminine woman had learned to live, love, and most of all, laugh. She had come to the end of a road of pain, to enter a road of forgiveness, compassion, acceptance and unconditional love.

She had emerged, scathed, but unharmed, into the world, where her faith had been renewed, her laughter returned and her love of life born anew. 

She believed in everything, despised nothing, and accepted people for who they are, experiencing fulfillment, love and comfort for the first time in her life. She had reached her ultimate goal, her holy grail of loving and being loved. She was no longer afraid of her frailty, nor was she ashamed of her vulnerability. The radiance that had rarely appeared in the past had become an everyday characteristic that was hard to ignore let alone conceal. She had lived up to her own expectations, rendering her a fine novel, read by many, understood by few and loved by all. She gave parts of herself, yet never dwindled. The luminous young woman illuminated the darkest corners with her mirth, warm nature, kind spirit and most loving self. 

Flowing gracefully into the vein of life, she became the blood that feeds the body and mind; an imperative lifeline flowing gently at times and rapidly at others. She pumped love into lazy hearts and loved all around her.

With one life-altering experience, the gentle soul of her dreams became this young lady's tangible reality. The self that she had so carefully hidden behind a veil of obstinate texture had emerged in all it's glory to greet the world denouncing all it's former stances, becoming stance free and unhindered by the heavy shackles of unproven hypotheses of old.

She lived life with a vigor unknown to her before and enjoyed every waking moment. She had a companion on this journey; one that she had been lying to for all her years. The culmination of her lies, the numerous deceptive words she had spoken were all forgotten. She no longer had reasons to fabricate, for her soul mate; the one person who loved and understood her better than anybody else, had finally been set free. The young lady, finally being able to love and be loved, turned to her dearest friend and looking into her eyes said three words to her identical brown eyes; 'I love you'. Miraculously, both sets of brown eyes welled up simultaneously as the gentle young lady wiped the fog of the mirror, smiled at herself and went our for a stroll in the sunshine.

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