"Who said I was dead" :: Lydia Braun interview

When I first stumbled across Lydia’s portfolio, my first thought was “wow, what is going on inside this woman's head?”. I just couldn’t believe how brutal and anxiety-ridden a 17 yr old’s imagination could be. That was  a few years ago though but her talent has continued to grow since my interview with her for The Jist (an old art & culture magazine I used to print). It's about time I get ahold of her again and do a follow up!

When did you first start drawing?

I was five years old. I did a little paper book for my dad which had all of the Quake monsters in it. I even titled the Scrambler as “The Blood Polar Bear”.

Quake, the video game? That’s pretty awesome, I remember drawing stuff from Doom. How old are you now?

I’m seventeen now and I’ll be eighteen in June, but yeah I would have probably done Doom monsters if I grew up with a windows computer but I grew up on Macs. I guess Quake was the Mac Doom

Do you come from an artistic family or is drawing something you always did on your own?

I came from a very artistic family. My mom owned her own hair salon before I was born and my dad owned his own design business called Little Pictures.

Did you pick up your style from them? Or did you sort of go on a tangent. In other words, what’s the inspiration for your art?

Well my dad has a very new age style to his art. I always loved his style but I went for a different look. I drew from dreams. Later on, I drew when I was upset - maybe as an outlet. Now I just do it for fun, it’s nice to put what’s in my mind onto paper.

What mediums do you work in? Is it all done free hand and scanned in? What is the process you have for creating a piece like “Your Mark” or “What Can Rabbits Do?”

Well if the drawing involves something that I don’t have a good visual image on, I’ll surf the web and look at photos, images, or maybe anatomy. Then I’ll sketch out outlines with a pencil and add some detail. I go over this with art pens lightly and erase the pencil. Then I’m left with an outline of my art with some big details. I use fine pens to add my dots. From there I scan my art and bring it up in Photoshop. I’ll fix up the image and make it all one solid black line work. This is when I begin to color in different layers with different properties until I’m done.

I notice motifs in your work – grotesque things like skulls and violence, but then also common symbols of beauty like roses and the female body. What are you trying to accomplish with those images?

To be honest, I never really think long and hard about what’s in my art until it’s done. I love the detail I can put into bone and skulls so I use them a lot and I enjoy drawing something that I can easily look at in the mirror: of course, the female body. If there is a position I don’t know how to draw, I can go to my mirror and study what the position will look like. As for other things I add to my art, I truly borrow from what happens when I sleep.

You look at yourself for study; does this mean that you inject yourself in the pieces? In other words, is that part of you in those images?

I use what I see in the mirror. Not everything is exact but the dimensions are around the same. Rarely do I draw things that I just make up – it usually comes from an experience I’ve had or something to do with dreams.

I’m interested in your series, Problem Alphabet. Where did that idea come from?

Well it originally started with artist’s block. I wasn’t dreaming and nothing seemed to pop into my head. So one day I had this idea to draw women in different situations. The situations were problems like anxiety, bulimia, cancer. Real problems for each letter of the alphabet. I’m saving the rest of the series for when I have artist block again.

For some reason, it’s much harder for me to draw the male body. I don’t draw from remembering how the human body bends or moves but rather from what I see in the mirror. Thus, all my men end up looking like women.

I ask because I see a strange stream of sexuality running through much of your work. “An Error of Judgment” is a good example. How do you feel about that piece?

I did Error of Judgment after I thought I was pregnant. I wasn’t but it got me thinking about things. I had a couple of weird nightmares on the subject. One included a bunch of flies engorging themselves on a nest of broken eggs. The other one involved me and an unknown man. He  impregnated me and left me on my own. The idea was to show a man who only wants sex but doesn’t want to deal with the results. I wanted to portray him as blue collar, but I also made him a skeleton - maybe symbolizing that he is inhuman.

That’s pretty intense for a 17 year old. What does your family think about the things you draw?

My father seems more than okay about it. If anything, he encourages me to delve deeper into things. My mom loves my art but doesn’t seem to touch too much on the content. She’s just happy that I’m doing what I enjoy, I suppose.

Do you like showing your art?

I enjoy showing it when it’s done, sometimes I get uncomfortable when I’m asked to bare my soul about my art. When it’s expected that every piece should be some orgasm of the soul, it just gets a little weird for me.

Sorry, I hope I’m not doing that.

Oh no not at all, trust me I’ve had some weirdos ask way to many questions about things that not even I could see in my art. I remember two different occasions. The first, a couple years ago, I had art displayed at our local visual arts center. I was practically cornered by this one guy who asked me questions about the lines in my work, asking why I made it seem like the image was tilting towards the left and how the color made me feel. Just things that were almost stalker-ish.

That is pretty strange.

It was very scary now that I think about it. Another time was recent. I had a person sending me e-mails with all these detailed, creepy questions about “An Error of Judgment”. It made me not draw for a couple weeks

God, I can imagine the questions…

Yeah, it was weird – I might have some of the e-mails saved.

What’s next for you, I saw you’re starting to make clothing?

Oh yes! That is actually the reason I haven’t drawn in awhile : I got sucked into the world of tee shirt designs! I gave up on trying to get big companies to recognize my work. So I opened up my own store online. I’m pretty excited about it.

Originally published in The Jist 2009. Lydia Braun and Mason Balistreri