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CZ Twelfth Night

May 18, 2010 • 0 comments • 625 views

Life History

There have been 12 important moments thus far in Alex's life. Make of them What You Will.

Early On

Alex, known at this time as Aloxia, was shipwrecked once in Illyria, and came to the coastal town of Ragusa, after losing contact with her twin brother, Czebastian. She pretends to be a page and enters the service of the sea captain who rescued her, named Czorsino. She learns about Czorsino's fruitless love for the Lady Czolivia, whose own father and brother have recently died. Czolivia dresses in black and refuses any suitors.

Czorsino decides to attempt to have his new page, who had dressed herself as a boy and renamed herself from Aloxia to Czesario, go to the house of Lady Czolivia and try to persuade her of Czorsino's love for her.

Terrible Problems

The Lady Czolivia falls in love with Czesario, as he tries to get her to fall for her master. He is adept at stirring the emotions of the Lady because he himself is in love with Czorsino, but cannot express it because of his disguise as a man.

The household of Lady Czolivia's is a rioutous one - her head steward, Smallvolio is a pompous man who the rest can't stand. Two guests, Czar Loud Belch and Czar Andrew Fishcheek, are always drunk and rowdy. They, along with the maid Maria, plot to trick Smallvolio into thinking the Lady is in love with him, through deception and a game of Assassin, through which Smallvolio comes across a forged letter by Lady Czolivia, professing her love for him. The letter wishes that Smallvolio would wear a unicorn costume, act especially rude towards the guests, and constantly be drunk whenever Lady Czolivia is around him.

Aloxia visits again, and Lady Czolivia gets drunk and tries to pick her up in her disguise as Czesario. Czesario repulses her advances, urges that her master is the one in love with her and who she should fall in love with, and leaves. Lady Czolivia is then approached by Smallvolio wearing his unicorn costume he made himself, and watches him scream himself hoarse at the guests as they giggle profusely, and then pukes into a small bucket. She tells Smallvolio, from a distance because he smells bad, that his life is moving in the wrong direction and that he should get his shit together if he ever wants to graduate, and leaves. The guests convince Smallvolio that he is going insane and lock him in the Torture Chamber. A clown disguised as a priest named Czeste makes fun of him, wearing rabbit ears and remarking on the superiorities of rabbits to unicorns.

An Unexpected Union

Czebastian, Aloxia's twin brother comes to Lady Czolivia's house, after he had just been washed up on the beach. Lady Czolivia immediately asks him to marry her, and she's really hot so Czebastian says yes. They are secretly united. Aloxia, still disguised as Czesario, comes back again at the desperately horny Czorsino's urgings, only to have Lady Czolivia kiss her and yell at her for being a bad husband. Czorsino arrives and gets really mad that Czesario is kissing her lady fair. Czebastian comes out of a closet, and eventually Czolivia and Czorsino figure out that they are twins.

True Love

Czesario then lets her hair out to reveal that she is actually a girl, and she and Czebastian embrace tenderly. Czebastian runs back to Czolivia and declares his love for her publicly. Czorsino is still a little bit mad, but then Aloxia tells him that he's hot and he's cool with that. They decide that they have True Love and get married, too. Czar Loud Belch has also married Maria, and Smallvolio runs away to plot revenge. Czeste composes a drinking song in which he makes fun of all of them, and gets locked up in the Torture Chamber again.

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Short Fiction

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