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*OWS & My Shame Toward My Once-Great Generation*

Nov 12, 2011 • 5 comments • 1103 views



*Frustration yesterday watching CNN’s coverage of Occupy Wall Street, scoffing at the chaotic and pointless mess of it all, when Michael-“I’m-Still-Relevant”-Moore appeared with a megaphone: ‘I look around today and I see the future of America!’

Ugh. My disgust is palpable.

Let me be clear: I am not a Republican. Nor am I a Democrat.

 Also, like many of the OWS protesters, I am a college graduate who has been unemployed for months after being laid off from my teaching job. I am having a difficult time making ends meet, and every day I feel like this economy finds a new way to accost my livelihood.

Am I angry at these circumstances? Hell yes.

Am I “Occupying Wall Street”? Hell no!

And I never will.

First of all, I’ve already been to Bonnaroo (and based on the photos, it looks really similar). Secondly, I live in America--proudly. So I understand that freedom is never a flat open road, but a myriad of phases both good and bad, both lucrative and troublesome.

But the biggest reason I disapprove of OWS is because… well, it’s stupid.

Some may find this opinion incorrect; maybe even offensive. All I can say is that Occupy Wall Street is more confused and disorganized than Chaz Bono’s sexual identity. The protesters themselves haven’t particularly on what they want, and the “demands” which they have put out are mostly flimsy and impractical.




To the vast majority of OWS protesters (and, in particular, Mr. Michael Moore):

(I feel I should address Mr. Moore in particular immediately not just because he’s the closest thing that this whole asinine OWS thing has to a face, but also out of concern that any minute now he’d choke on one of the innumerable Nathan’s he shoves down his gullet while screaming about the plight of the ‘lower class’.)

Okay, Mr. Moore: we get it. You’re pissed off… and obese. You’re obese as shit, actually… and not in a funny way, either. No, you’re obese like Gilbert Grape’s mother. More tragic than amusing. Actually I’d say the biggest difference between you two is that she actually possessed integrity—something you lack in spades.

Mr. Moore: I truly and utterly, with every facet of my soul and corpuscle of my blood, implore you to please take off the baseball cap of whatever city you’re in, put down the megaphone, and please—please­—just shut the fuck up.

Listening to you speak—especially at the OWS gatherings you’ve flown to first-class to around the nation—is like watching 2 Girls, 1 Cup at maximum volume. It’s shamefully whorish and personally, makes me not want to bring children into a world where such things exist.

So often I hear you expound on the various evils of capitalism—and, let’s not bullshit each other here—you very often use the term “capitalism”. So much so that you’ve come to generalize it as the source for many of society’s ills. Meanwhile you boast of living in a million-dollar apartment along with a multi-million beachside estate in Michigan



Mister Moore, the fact that you even consider yourself a spokesman for the “common man” is utterly appalling. Nauseating, even. In fact, Yeah, I went there. Sorry but I had to. See, you think the two are mutually exclusive, so now I have to bukkake you with some serious knowledge: 1) YOU ARE A LYING, HYPOCRITICAL CUNT OF ZERO MORAL FIBER

 and while I  You’ve made one or two decent movies in the past so unfortunately you’re famous enough to have access to a microphone. You’re sick and tired of the Establishment “treading” all over the 99% that are forced to suckle at its teat.  

Jesus, you might even be forced to write another diuretic smattering of trite liberal diatribes with a clever title. Oh, I think you call that you call it a “book”.

You're absolutely right...

What will OWS come to represent in the history books to come?


The answer: Not a goddamn thing. Ever.



OWS is NOT a "revolutionary movement". And I suggest that all those poor souls who’ve deemed it so to put down their iPads and either look up the word “irony” in the dictionary, or maybe take some time to read some literature about what exactly it is they think they’re “protesting”. I can only ask that the “occupiers” take the time to pull themselves out of each other’s asses. Our bored and privileged generation is so far removed from any true plight that we invent ways to get pissed off at the “establishment”. I am doubtless that had the Occupy Wall St. movement occurred six years ago, the streets would be flooded with effigies  of George W. Bush.


--and what do bored Americans who've never seen real global suffering love to do? That's right: bitch and moan and protest. Let's face it: OWS has achieved NOTHING of true significance. Nothing. Capitalism is still capitalism and will always be capitalism. If you want a target for your angst than you better focus on John Locke. Since when does “the little guy getting screwed" People seem so intent on calling OWS a "movement"; and while this is true in the sense that it requires movement to bang along in a drum circle, or march around in loops whilst holding signs emblazoned with cheesy, hackneyed liberalisms. 


OWS is a failure because it is leaderless, voiceless, contradictory and entirely antithetical to the very reason the occupation began in the first place. 

 Even worse, At this point it's become little more than a trend: a "cool event" where you can tell your friends "yeah, I was there". Don't believe me? Take a look at the T-SHIRTS being printed advertising OWS gatherings in various cities.


Disgusting. Sure, our generation has a voice... Unfortunately it's not saying a goddamn thing worth listening to.



Also appears in:


"OWS has achieved nothing of true significance"? Is that why you're talking about it? "Asinine," hmmm - that would be me, then, as I love what's happening with OWS and am filled with gratitude for those who have, for starters. already changed the political discourse of the country. I mean - not really... Paul Krugman... asinine? I understand Princeton and a Pulitzer and a global forum are easily dismissed, but you may find that apoplectic meltdowns are less than effective in achieving anything beyond raising your blood pressure and communicating your own sense of smallness.
11.12.11 •
Oh, Bobby...
I was really hoping it wouldn't have to come to this, but clearly I need to take your bitch-ass to school. First of all: YES. The fact that OWS has achieved nothing is MOST DEFINITELY the reason I'm talking about it. Actually, it's the same reason that the major news outlets continue to report it (but that's assuming you own a TV). Secondly: YES. You are about as asinine as they come, especially if you think that anyone from OWS has "changed the political discourse" of this country. That is BEYOND asinine, in fact. If you think that camping out on town hall lawns, playing frisbee, smoking ganja and marching in half-assed circles while spouting half-assed chants is "changing political discourse", I actually feel sorry for your whole sheltered existence.
Also, your response to me is PAUL KLUGMAN?! Like that is supposed to convince me of anything?!? Let me make this clear: I SHIT on Paul Klugman. I shit on Princeton, too. And same goes for the Pulitzer. Truthfully the fact that you put so much emphasis on things like Pulitzers and Princeton only shows me that you're a man who's afraid to think for himself.
I mean, really Bobby, your argument is like the OWS' message: transitory and amorphous--like you're just throwing shit on the wall and hoping something sticks.

Oh yeah, in regards to my blood pressure. It is high, and I'm proud of it. Also, as a true American, I can celebrate the fact that I have high blood pressure. And as an American yourself, you should realize that other people's health is none of your fucking business. And sure, the Constitution protects your right to inquire, but in the real world--where I live--you should know that behavior like yours often warrants an asskicking.

Oh, and I almost forgot--it's not wise to argue with someone who's clearly smarter than you. I know that damn pride of yours is telling you otherwise, but trust me, I'll make you look like an asshole every time. It's up to you, of course, but I think we both have far more productive things we could be doing than me making you look like a jagaloon.
11.12.11 •
Wow, man - that was dazzling! The condescension, the tautologies, the very clever ..."Bobby" (how'd you do that?!). The threat of violence, too, speaks of intellectual prowess beyond what I can begin to imagine. And given my fear to think, and stuff, it's kinda cool that you've constructed this metropolis of hate. Were you able to catch that piece in The Journal of Neuroscience about anger increasing the plasticity of one's frontal lobes? Dumb question, I know. Or I think I know. Hard to say in the presence of your fire-hose locution.

Admirable how you merged Paul Krugman with Jack Klugman. It seems you do have a TV. The definition of cognitive liberty! Neat how you put the possessive apostrophe after the S in OWS, as if bemoaning your inability to defecate on Occupy Wall Streets. Mr. Brainiac with the air tight perceptions... good thing a leak or two doesn't give you pause to begin seeking patterns. That sort of cognitive dissonance could potentially reveal anger to be a secondary emotion, employed as a defense mechanism against the authentic, primary feelings of powerlessness, confusion, self-loathing.

The problem I have with hammering of specific - you know, like now sort of ubiquitous demands: a) Public financing of campaigns, b) Repeal of Citizens United, c) Reinstating Glass-Steagall, d) Terminating the Bush tax cuts, e) Terminating illegal foreclosures, f) Reformatting much of the armament industry into one of genuine defense (a clean energy infrastructure) - is the possibility of inhibiting the mechanism of concentrated imagination collectively directed toward evolving our institutions in ways that enable us to avert absolute self-destruction.

Beneath the marquee on which you hung some of the shame that's apparently reconfigured your pre-frontal cortex into a rage-shaped hamster wheel, is a very sad document. Did that city block-sized asteroid soaring at 29,000mph between the Earth and Moon this week not allow for even a glimmer of understanding that, ultimately, we are the 100%?

11.13.11 •
best response I've read in a decade! Bravo. That should be the start of some essay
11.13.11 •
Sweet Bobby,
Clearly I touched a chord, since you clearly spent hours drafting this cute little response of yours. That just tells me you're a man whose life lacks a certain substance; that your biggest purpose in life is the constant ejaculation of your opinion onto the internet in the hopes that someone, someday, may actually agree with your commie sentiments and impractical "proposals".

Also, like myself you are an obvious fan of language. That's a commendable quality--it's always great to use pretentious, polysyllabic language in order to convince morons that you're making a valid point. Unfortunately Bobby it simply doesn't change the fact that a fetid pile of shit is STILL a fetid pile of shit, even when it's decorated and costumed with a superfluously complicated and flowery lexicon.

Just remember, whatever you feel you have to write next in order to prove to yourself your own manhood, I will always, ALWAYS be laughing at you.
11.14.11 •
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